Hat Blog

The Next Annoying Technological Advancement: The Implications of Siri and Apple IPhone 4S

It’s all the rage these days to deify Steve Jobs and the inventions he has introduced into our culture. However, let me remind us 1.0 People (roughly speaking, the Baby Boomers), how we felt – how annoying it was - when 2.0 People started having loud mobile phone conversations in public places. Either we grimaced and rolled our eyes (usually unobserved or ignored by these self-absorbed techno-lemmings) or blurted “Shut the F-up”. Our frustration over this abject invasion of people’s privacy didn’t matter, the march of the nerd reductionists just kept coming. Humankind had changed forever. Not only did they not shut up, but we were told to mind our own business.

A few years ago, the ante was upped with the advent of text messaging. The extent to which these children (or child-like adults) were absorbed with (addicted to) their phones increased considerably (witness family gatherings where 2.0ers sit on living room couches simultaneously texting – often to a kid sitting in the same room!). Texting amped up cell phone use considerably. But, perhaps – just perhaps – the silence of typing texts may have served to quiet down the air waves. The obsession with texting may be annoying, but if it reduced the exasperating loud talking in public places, then perhaps this was a move in the right direction.

Well, get ready, because the worst of both worlds is here. Enter Siri. If you don’t know who she is, you will soon enough. Imagine all the text conversations that the Zuckerberg-era sycophants are having. Back and forth with lightning speed they go, right? Now, imagine all that, but spoken instead of written. Now, add the spoken words “period”, “question mark”, “exclamation point”, etc. Imagine no more – that’s Siri. The Apple IPhone 4S includes state-of-the-art voice recognition – Siri is the “intelligent assistant” who you speak aloud with in order to get your search needs met. She’s very good by the way; she understands virtually everything you say. (This challenging technology hurdle appears to have been cleared.) But it’s not the spoken search query that will get you screaming and pulling your hair out. It’s spoken texting, and often with more than one person at a time. Add the fact that punctuation is to be spoken and - if you haven’t yet experienced it - you can well understand how wild and crazy (to put it politely) it is to be around these kids with their Siri.

“Hey dude comma you there question mark chargers are terrible period no chance for playoffs period hi babe period what are you up to question mark hi mom what’s for dinner question mark great comma yum exclamation point no no chance even if they win out period. Sorry to hear that babe period see you after work period ok mom ok dude ok babe”

Thank you Steve Jobs – you genius, you tech guru, you.

Fred Belinsky
www.VillageHatShop.com

Bridging the Classic Tension between the Sciences and the Humanities

  

Bridging the Classic Tension between the Sciences and the Humanities

. . . . or Handling IT Service Guys

 

Running a successful business is more art than science.  Of this, I am quite certain. However, understanding science, specifically technology and perhaps some math - or at least being able to effectively communicate with people who do - is vital.  This is especially true if one’s business is Internet retailing.  If, like me, you are more inclined toward the humanities than the sciences, successful communication with the techies can be a challenge.  [If you are an ecommerce CEO with the luxury of in-house IT staff, skip this blog entry.] 

 

Here is the persona that often shows up on the telephone when you call for IT service.  The guy (in my experience, the person is almost always as male) will rarely leave his comfort zone.  Before you can even dream of making human contact or chatting about the problem at hand, he’ll want your ID number, your case number, your password, your secret question answered, and perhaps your name (but this might be incidental and he’ll never refer to you by name).   His flat affect will remind you that he is doing this work because he thinks – mistakenly – that he can avoid the messiness of real human affairs.  When it came time to get a job, “Technology Service” was hiring, but unfortunately for him, talking to people was part of the deal.  At one point in his life, he was a “gamer”, a geek who was unpopular and “weird.”  He relished privacy and every single day hoped that people would just leave him alone. 

 

Now you need his help, and he doesn’t like you from the get-go because you are a. a human being and b. an idiot who doesn’t even know your own IP address or where to find your cookies.  You need a good strategy to get your needs met:  1. Be self-effacing (even if you know a thing or two).  For heaven’s sake, don’t try and sound competent as this will surely get you painted into a corner.  Example: “I am a dummy when it comes to this stuff.  Please go easy on me.”  2.  Build him up:  “Your skills make today’s world go round.  Or the rhetorical, “How could businesses survive without your expertise?” 

 

This should lay the necessary groundwork.  Now, your goal is to get a single example of any right brain behavior exhibited in the conversation, like humor for example.  If you succeed, don’t over-react as this may signal a retreat.  Rather, validate the behavior in an understated manner.  At this point, you should be home free.  Cautiously navigate your way toward completion of your IT service objective with your new friend. 

 

Good luck and . . . May the Force be With You (is that what those guys say?  I get the trekkies and techies mixed up).

 

Fred Belinsky 
www.VillageHatShop.com
www.VillageHats.co.uk